Ending a toxic relationship – recognise the time to leave

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Happyness comes from making decisions

Sometimes, happiness comes from making tough decisions about our relationships. Ending a toxic relationship is important to create some form of happyness

Some people have a destroying personality

Some people boost our energy reserves. Others drain us dry. In reality, we each have choices. We often get to decide who we allow into our lives. Not everyone  deserves all you have to offer or all of who you are. Therefore, ending a challenging relationship might just be what’s needed.

Being in a happy relationship is part of life’s plan. Happiness is part of that plan. Health is part of that plan. Stability is part of that plan. Constant struggle is not and shouldn’t be.

The status quo is an easy excuse

It’s often more comfortable to stay in the broken relationship rather than risk the unknown. There are countless rational excuses that keep us in the status quo. They can range from;

Being too…

  • busy,
  • tired,
  • broke,
  • needy,
  • and so on.

Keith's Story - Male Victim of Domestic Abuse & Depression Ending a toxic relationship - recognise the time to leave

Is it ever a good time to exhaust yourself mentally and physically? Is it ever a good time to operate from a place of shame or guilt? What about continually repeating the same behaviour that created the problems in the first place? By continually attempting to fix the unfixable is crazy but understandable.

Let’s get brave and tell the truth.

Start by observing the thoughts running through your head. How do you honestly feel about the person in question?

Questions to ponder:

  • Is the pain too great to stay the same?
  • Do I constantly picture an alternate reality?
  • Is it impossible to make boundaries?
  • Am I the only one that is willing to meet in the middle?
  • Is getting an apology (when it’s truly deserved) like pulling teeth?
  • Does this relationship take more energy than it gives?
  • Am I completely fatigued when I’m with the person and energetic when they’re gone?
  • If it’s a romantic relationship, are the sparks dead?
  • Is the only thing holding me back my fear of change?
  • Am I afraid of what people will think of me if this relationship fails?
  • Do I find myself missing the old me?

How to say Goodbye to Toxic Relationships

Deciding to end a relationship might not be the same as actually leaving. The more entangled you are, the more logistics might have to be worked out. It’s OK to take your time and plan the exit and the next phase. I’ve heard it said that the hardest relationships to get out of are the ones that are the most dysfunctional. The stress definitely takes its toll. That’s why it’s ok to get some help.

There’s no need to force the other side to see your point. If they were going to see it, that would have happened a long time ago.

There has been a range of feelings from shattered hearts and some serious soul searching. Sometimes I wish I had more compassion and better communication skills; other times, I wish I got out sooner. Clearly, it’s not always simple.

I now know that grief is good. Feel it. Heal it.

Has my life really fell apart now I’ve moved on? Maybe. It feels like it considering what I’m left with at the moment, but maybe that’s exactly what was needed to build the life I’ve been meant to live.