I very much doubt that you would remember but on the 23rd October 2017, I wrote a blog questioning whether I should publish my story or not (to publish or not to publish).
Initially, way back in June 2017 I started to write because there was nothing out there that fitted my needs or to offer advice I was seeking etc. I still stand by the fact that I fully believe that it was perhaps the best thing I had ever done. Furthermore, it has also given other people (both men and women) the impetus to write and share their experiences too. That must also be seen as a positive outcome.
Change in focus
I am fully aware that my writing has changed and that my focus of anger and disappointment has somewhat changed. But I make no apology for this because, as I later found out, this is all a part of the recovery process.
I also stand by the argument I made several months ago that I have learnt that if you have a principle that you believe to be right, then it is worth fighting for.
Anyway, as usual I am waffling.
After researching the writers market, I have eventually found a publisher. It must be stressed that it is a bit of a minefield out there when it comes to getting a book published.
As expected there were firms who offered me the publishing world for a rather large fee. Of course, it is a bit of a gamble for everyone concerned but like I have said, if you feel it is something you believe in then it is worth sticking it out. This is a book of importance (okay I accept that this is my view) but so many other people have said it too. So why should I stump up massive costs first? Anyway, that’s a whole different story.
Are there anymore writers?
Following my choice to write and discuss events and outcomes I have discovered other people all over the world expressing the same things. But prior to this I could not find anything to help me with my struggles or choices. Indeed, it is fair to say that there are books out there, but they are either from a female perspective or they only covered one area that I was discussing. But my main problem was that there was absolutely nothing written for a British market.
Of course, there is nothing wrong with foreign books, but I needed a relevance to the state and society I live and work in. So, I wrote my own and now I have a publisher who is interested.
Still work to do
I am under no illusion that much of what I have written will need to be re-written or even merged with other things but the content will remain the same. Yet, I want to tell the reader what it is like to be a male victim of domestic abuse and the consequential mental struggles. Also, I want the reader to know what it is like to be assumed guilty before being given the opportunity to clear your own name. But this is not happening in a backward country. It is happening in every street and every town in a so called ‘civilised’ society where people consider themselves to be equal in law and protected by the state.
Alas my story is not rare. It’s not even a hidden story but the struggles continue for so many other people. It’s just that I have had the opportunity and ability to tell mine.
I am aware that there will need to be work done to make the book more palatable for a reading audience. But I’m okay with that. My readers are my customers in effect, but my story can’t be diluted. It’s just my story and I am looking forward to getting it heard even more.