The End

Keith's Story - Male Victim of Domestic Abuse & Depression The End

The End

For an end to have an existence it must be the conclusion of something. The end of the day must have had a morning, and a death must have had a birth. Even the greatest oak trees started from a small acorn. But if I am to discuss the end of my story we must be aware of where it started. At the beginning of my first book (Silent Story) I made the unassuming comment that when I woke on that one Sunday morning, little did I know the night before that the world of which I once recognised would no longer exist by lunch time the following day.

Keith's Story - Male Victim of Domestic Abuse & Depression The End

History Paths

Both the ancient Greeks and Romans believed that history was on a linier path and not circular. To put this simply, day to day experiences were independent of each other and they were of no consequence to what had happened before. By todays standards we are fully aware that events are indeed a consequence of events and actions that had happened before hand. If we think about the terrorist attacks that happened on 11th September 2001 they were not just an idea plucked out of thin air. There was a history attached to the ideology behind it all. The attacks took planning and logistics. These events were nearly identical to the 1605 terrorist plans associated with the gun powder plot to blow up the king and Parliament. Both plans were based on a religious, philosophical and the need to spread fear in the name of terror. Although the topic is not about terrorism both events shook the world so much that promises were made to learn and react and yet, the same events unfolded with 400 years apart.


The journey associated with history is littered with events that are either not new or indeed repeated. Time after time I have witnessed great speakers talk about the events before, during and after the Jewish holocaust in the 20th century. And yet, each time these people speak they talk about learning from the past and avoiding the horrors that had happened before. However, in our own lifetimes we have seen ethnic cleansing, mass genocide and victimisations of minority groups repeated time after time all within the space of a few years. Therefore, you can argue that it is okay to study history but why bother if nothing has been learnt or heeded from these events. Therefore, it could be argued that the study of history is nothing more than a high brow soap opera with the obligatory bad character battling the good – and there are countless examples throughout time to give here.


Keith's Story - Male Victim of Domestic Abuse & Depression The End

When I reflect upon my journey following my abuse and life time struggles with depression it becomes clear that the peaks and troths, the bends and dips were and all part of the recovery. Yet like the impatient child seated in the back of the car it is inevitable that I will ask “are we there yet?” By giving the seated child analogy it is not the journey they dislike it is the arrival at the destination they are impatiently seeking.

Throughout my time struggling to get answers and seeking explanations, I have peered through the windows to discover cover-ups, uncomfortable apologies backed up with nothing more than formally typed letters, stereotypical conclusions, narrow minded protocols, systematic failures and ignorance by public bodies. I have discovered that the journey has not been pleasant but highly educational. The journey has shown me that although there are a lot of errors and faults in supporting male victims of domestic abuse and support for people with depression there is no impetus or encouragement to change. The David and Goliath struggles are far too big to tackle when those holding the cards are so deeply infused with narrow minded ignorance that change appears almost impossible.

Fear the truth

Keith's Story - Male Victim of Domestic Abuse & Depression The End

Over several months I have read and watched both recent and historical events of minorities who have suffered at the hands of the authorities. I have concluded by finding two facts. Firstly, as quoted by Socrates, “When the debate is lost, slander becomes the tool of the losers” and secondly, People start to ridicule because they fear the truth. In both cases the fight to expose the truth is over shadowed by the fight to maintain your dignity in the face of hostility. In so many cases it has been the case that the bringer of facts has had to fight organisations such as the police, both criminal and family law courts, social services and so on. In every case I have attempted to raise the truth I have been stopped by convenient red tape, systematic protocols, and institutional ignorance that suits the blinkered stand-point of which they wish to operate by.

A lack of interest

Keith's Story - Male Victim of Domestic Abuse & Depression The End

Having now reached the end of the journey the car park looks very dull indeed. The dystopian future is filled with dread for our sons (and in part, daughters). In the twenty-first century we still lack the medical support for depression and above all the lack of interest or concern for male victims of domestic abuse. I have found that the future seems utterly disinterested in offering equal support for men who live with the daily horrors of a violent partner (whether heterosexual or not) or the rising numbers of men taking their own lives. There appears to be a complete lack of interest when men are discharged from hospitals following assaults to ensure they have a safe place to go home to. There is an utter lack of interest from the police who attend male victims who call out for help following the utter embarrassment to admit that they are victims. Social services and family law courts still and will forever favour the mothers over good and caring fathers.

A dystopian future

The real pain rests with the fact that no matter how hard a few voices have shouted out that enough is enough, absolutely nothing has changed in my life time. We can only conclude by stating that male lives just do not matter. Men are replaceable, expendable and unequal in the eyes of the law and in the role of a husband, father, brother or son. And this is where my argument holds so much importance because every wife, mother, sister or daughter has a male counterpart of which feels the same pains as them. It will be hard to bring up our sons telling them not to bother being in a relationship because the breakdown can and would destroy their lives. Or tell our fathers that they might as well put that rope around their necks because nothing will be done should you choose otherwise. This, as stated, is the dystopian future and my journey to this point has shown no impetus or need for change.

The end

Keith's Story - Male Victim of Domestic Abuse & Depression The End

However, I suppose that by concluding my work I have discovered that there are so many other men out there that have experienced what I have. It has brought me great comfort to know that by telling my story I have been able to be open and frank about my experiences. I am certainly wiser about the system and how it does not practice what it preaches. At the time of writing this I am still awaiting support from a police domestic abuse support officer two years after raising my concerns.

I suppose I can now see that I am stronger than I originally gave myself credit for. I have learnt that to survive the nightmare conditions I had found myself in, recovery must and does start from within. I have found that people who suffer with depression are often the kindest and (ironically) the happiest people you could know. Furthermore, having a dependency on an agency doing the right thing is a fallacy. But here lies the irony, by accepting these newly found facts and adjusting my stance to how society should respond I am now in such a better place. My happiness is genuine and my knowledge is stronger. So I suppose by concluding my work I would like to finish with two quotes from my favourite (and often misunderstood) philosopher, Friedrich Nietzche (1844 – 1900)

Insanity in individuals is rare – but in groups, nations and epochs, it is the rule.

And finally

What does not destroy me, makes me stronger.


The Power of a Poster

Keith's Story - Male Victim of Domestic Abuse & Depression The Power of a Poster

A painfully Slow Process

I am now at the age whereby I realise that not everything is done instantly. This has come as a bit of a shock to me because as an ex member of the forces I have found that, although life in the forces is somewhat different to ‘civvie street’ life out here is slower and a lot less urgent.

Keith's Story - Male Victim of Domestic Abuse & Depression The Power of a Poster

During the end of my service in the RAF one of my NCO’s (non-commissioned officers) said of me that; if I needed something done, I didn’t care how it was done as long as it was on my desk when I needed it. As a result I have found life as a civilian frustrating and unjustifiably slow. If something needs to be done it does not require a committee or a series of phone-calls to end up back at the beginning to be told I have the wrong number (and so on).

In My Lifetime – Doubt it

Keith's Story - Male Victim of Domestic Abuse & Depression The Power of a Poster

Alas, it is with a heavy heart when I consider the fact that the changes we urgently need may never be achieved in my life time. However, it was recently brought to my attention that there has been a recent drive highlighting the fact that men are also victims of domestic abuse. Of course, I am delighted that such an issue is starting to be acknowledged but a poster strategically placed still does not address the whole issue. Let me give another example, there would be uproar if 1 in 4 people were diagnosed with cancer but there was no treatment in the modern world for it. To give another analogy, we would never contemplate the idea of a sinking ship having no life boats.

But here rests my point. I am delighted that some form of statement of recognition is now out there but where is the support? Where is the equality in law for equal protection. Or, for that matter where are the refuges for male victims? Where is the access to a safe home on a council waiting list? Where, once the ability to leave the home is the equal parenting rights to our children?

Is that it, just a poster?

You may call me cynical, but as far as I see it the whole poster drive is a tick box exercise. It appeases the police who claim to administer the law equally. It appeases social services who claim to be equal and inclusive and it appeases the health service who claim to offer support and sanctuary. But alas, none of this is the case.

Keith's Story - Male Victim of Domestic Abuse & Depression The Power of a Poster

Many people think of domestic abuse as a physical assault by a man on a woman in their home. But the reality of domestic violence extends much further than that. The Inter-Ministerial Group on Domestic Violence has adopted the following Home Office definition: ‘Any incident of threatening behaviour, violence or abuse (psychological, physical, sexual, financial or emotional) between adults who are or have been intimate partners or family members, regardless of gender or sexuality.’ (Home Office)

Male Victims Do Not Exist

Keith's Story - Male Victim of Domestic Abuse & Depression The Power of a Poster

In a document entitled Responding to domestic abuse: a handbook for health professionals – by the Department of Health 2005, states that; Responsibility for domestic abuse always lies with the perpetrator – never with the person who has been abused. At no point does it identify a specific gender as being either the perpetrator or victim yet, within the said document it clearly states on page 4 that it will not acknowledge male victims as; Consequently, this handbook focuses on women’s needs. To date the said office have failed to produce a male equivalent document, thirteen years after the publication of the first booklet mentioned above.

We will probably never know its true extent, because many male cases of domestic abuse go unreported. It is difficult – and often dangerous – for a victim to tell somebody that they are being abused by somebody close to them. But we do know it’s common.

Domestic Abuse Is A Health Issue For Men Too

With the recognition of a social problem must come some form of responsibility. Men are dying at an alarming rate. Okay, it is fair to argue that less men die at the hands of an abusive partner but men are killing themselves because they have reached the end of a dead end road. When there is no other option left but to return to the abusive home and become the perpetual victim to a violent partner that is one thing. But to be rejected by the law makers or to be refused a home based on your gender is another.

It doesn’t take much to type in ‘domestic abuse’ in any search engine to find reams of information aimed at female victims. Pages and pages will offer support and guidance and even direct you to places whereby you can get specialist information about specific things. Yet, in my hour of need there was nothing. Not a dot of information or help. After all, it has always been unacceptable for a male to be a victim either of domestic abuse or depression. And yet the only contribution to date to support a male victim is a poster.

A World Wide Disgrace

Well I don’t wish to make a stir but that poster offers very little in the way of true support. There needs to be an equal drive for supplying refuges or/and protection. Like I have previously said there would be uproar if this lack of provision or funding was found in any other walk of life. This present system is far from adequate and is a world wide disgrace.

Keith's Story - Male Victim of Domestic Abuse & Depression The Power of a Poster

I am aware that for generations men have been discouraged to talk about problems or concerns. Indeed, as a result the numbers of people reporting issues does not reflect the true facts about the issues concerning men. However, times have changed and not only are a younger generation of men stepping forward but we also have a younger generation of violent women making their mark. For generations men have also been discouraged to not discuss depression or moments of ‘weakness’ but the unacceptable rise of male suicides are not being recognised as a social concern.

When I was finally encouraged to come forward and share my story with the authorities it was a big step to take. However, I was under the influence that there would be some form of pay-off. If I openly talked about my experiences and present concerns I would be able to access support, help and advice. Yet, to date I have received next to nothing other than a number of counselling sessions provided by my work. I must therefore, acknowledge that I had been given some form of support but it does not match anything that was offered to my female equivalent. Yet, here I am saying how delighted I am to have witnessed a poster – yes just one poster.

Gender issues

Keith's Story - Male Victim of Domestic Abuse & Depression The Power of a Poster

Similarly, although much of my writing refers to domestic abuse within heterosexual relationships, it’s important to acknowledge that lesbian and gay relationships are also affected by domestic abuse. Although abuse in same-sex relationships sometimes brings up different issues from those occurring in heterosexual relationships, it merits the same level of concern and the same professional, supportive response. Yet, I have had discussions with gay men who tell me that it is one thing to admit being in a gay relationship, but to admit being the victim of abuse by their partner is another.

Virtually every person in Britain uses the healthcare system at some point. If we create an environment in which men as well as women are likely to feel safe enough to reveal that they are being abused and can therefore access information, it can make a real difference for thousands of men and their families.

What do (all) survivors of domestic abuse want?

• To be safe. It is essential to know that a man has the same protection in law as a woman. A home must be a refuge from not only the outside world but also a haven from the threat of violence.
• To be believed, taken seriously and respected. From my own and many other men’s experiences this has not, and never was the case. The police fail to provide protection or advice to males. Furthermore, although more concealed now than ever before, no male victim of abuse is taken seriously and as a result lacks the respect the victim requires.
• Timely and proactive interventions such as routine enquiry and the provision of information. A safe haven on an equal standing as female victims is essential but lacking.
• Independent advocates (from the voluntary sector, for example) to oversee their case and liaise with the different agencies that provide them with support.
• A single person or agency to get help from so that they don’t have to keep repeating intimate details of their abuse.
• Options based on their circumstances explained to them clearly.
• Contact with other male survivors.
• To be kept informed of developments – such as when an abuser is released from a police station – although females don’t seem to either get arrested or have to explain their actions.
• Support to cope with the effects of abuse on them and their children.
• To have their views incorporated into services that are offered to them. Furthermore, respect and consideration for their plight.

But at least I can now conclude by saying – at least we now have a poster.

Small holes sink big ships

Keith's Story - Male Victim of Domestic Abuse & Depression Small holes sink big ships

I must have been about 14 when I first heard the phrase; small holes sink big ships. I recall it was my great grandmother who said it and instantly I knew that it was a phrase worth remembering.

Sharp in mind

My great grandparents were a funny couple. She was sharp in mind but weak in body, yet he was weak in mind but sharp in body. I would often visit to find that the living room had been repainted, mainly because he had forgotten he had done it two weeks before. And there she would sit covered in paint splashes because she did not have the ability or strength to move prior to his redecorating quest.

Keith's Story - Male Victim of Domestic Abuse & Depression Small holes sink big ships

My great grandmother was a wealth of information. She would sometimes recall events such as bombing raids or the sending off of young men to the trenches in France during the first world war. Of course, she was full of hindsight of which was rich with facts and considerations. But she was never boring or one to ‘go on’ about things. She often told me about the corruption of the police during the blackouts and the black marketing they did during the war years. I recall how disappointed she looked when I told her that I had considered being a policeman once.

I can’t recall the actual content of the conversation whereby she said about the small holes and big ships. I suppose it doesn’t really matter. But the idea behind the conversation resonated. Even today it helps put things into perspective. Napoleon Bonaparte once remarked that trivial things often decide the outcome of a battle.

Big ships

Keith's Story - Male Victim of Domestic Abuse & Depression Small holes sink big ships

Let us look at this idiom a little more closely. A ship is generally a huge floating construction sometimes weighing tonnes and is made of good quality steel. It is designed in such a way that it can travel long distances carrying heavy loads. But in the sea sometimes when there is a small hole or some small damage to the ship, it sinks. The size of the hole in the ship is very small compared to the size of the ship. This is comparable to the characters of people where a small fault in the character causes their downfall.

Over several months I have been following a range of stories whereby an authority has been brought to its knees because of either it’s own arrogance or reaching beyond the limitations of which it is set. For example, I once ensured the sacking of a social worker because of his inability to do his job correctly and within the frame work set out by his governing body. I suppose I would have overlooked his indiscretions. However, my tolerance was stretched when he said “how dare I challenge him when he is a social worker”. Well, of course I discovered the holes in his ability to do his job and he sank to the bottom of his career.


Again, we have seen the head of the Crown Prosecution Service sink beyond the recognition of decenthood when challenged about her views on disclosure failings and wrongful imprisonments. This one person has made a complete mockery of the justice system where everyone had a stake or a vested interest. Now people no longer have the confidence to know that they are protected under the system they took for granted to get things right.

This failure causes problems beyond the sentencing of innocent people. Are we now living in a time whereby any jury member will question the validity put forward by the prosecution and the police and so set a criminal free to reoffend? It’s possible. After all, my trust in the police and the CPS is beyond repairable and I will always question the motives behind a police or CPS investigation.

Rats and a sinking ship

Keith's Story - Male Victim of Domestic Abuse & Depression Small holes sink big ships

It is interesting to note, however, that these organisations seem to think that if a person resigns then the problem will disappear. It doesn’t. One person takes the rap for many. Alison Saunders (ex head of the CPS) only stood down because her policies had been exposed. Yet it is not just her who has been pulling the levers of the corrupted system. There are many others. Confidence in the criminal justice system was rocked last year after a flurry of cases collapsed when it emerged that vital evidence had not been passed to defence lawyers.

The new head of the CPS; Max Hill QC has pledged to “restore public trust in the Crown Prosecution Service” after being announced as the new Director of Public Prosecutions. Mr Hill will replace Alison Saunders in the senior legal role from November, after months in which the CPS has been heavily criticised for a catalogue of disclosure failings that led to cases collapsing and warnings about miscarriages of justice. Mr Hill has been quoted as saying he was “honoured” to be taking over from Ms Saunders, adding: “This is a challenging time for the CPS, with the rise in … negative publicity about its handling of disclosure in some cases.

The Justice Committee said “insufficient focus and leadership” led to problems going unresolved and that the Department for Public Prosecutions (DPP) “did not sufficiently recognise the extent and seriousness” of failures within the disclosure process. A report published on Friday also concluded the CPS may have underestimated the number of cases stopped because of disclosure errors by 90%.


Keith's Story - Male Victim of Domestic Abuse & Depression Small holes sink big ships

I have highlighted the list of police failures in previous writings. I have also shared the stories of my great grandmother who expressed her concerns about corrupted police officers over many generations. And yet nothing changes. The whole ship of corruption is re-packaged and allowed to set sail again under am ensign of ‘we have learnt our lessons’ or ‘we are sorry, we won’t do it again’.

Yet the police failed to comply with its disclosure obligations in more than four out of 10 cases. According to a new report by HM Crown Prosecution Service Inspectorate which looked at 1,290 files, the police ‘fully complied’ with their obligations in only 57% of cases and there was ‘partial compliance’ in a further 37%.

According to the watchdog, prosecutors’ compliance on initial disclosure was ‘not much better than the police’ with only 58% fully meeting requirements. ’We saw limited evidence of prosecutors identifying police lack of compliance in reviews or other notes on files, or of them feeding that back to the police,’ the inspectorate noted.

Own review?

Earlier this year CPS commissioned its own review of disclosure following concerns over the Liam Allan case and other collapsed rape trials. That review revealed that issues with disclosure had been identified in 47 of 3,637 cases from a six week period reviewed; but only five had been identified as such through the CPS’s own case management system.

However, only this week (Tuesday, July 24, 2018) the UK police’s watchdog is investigating allegations of “serious corruption and malpractice” within Scotland Yard’s own ranks, the largest police inquiry in 40 years. The probe was launched by the UK’s Independent Office for Police Conduct (IOPC) after whistleblowers raised concerns that senior officers in the Metropolitan Police’s Directorate of Professional Standards (DPS) were interfering with investigations and turning a blind-eye to wrongdoing. Let me clarify at this stage, the DPS was set up to investigate corruption within its own service and is now being investigated for corruption itself??

It now transpires that gross misconduct notices have been served on three officers, while “a number” of other officers are being assessed, according to the IOPC. IOPC director Jonathan Green said claims of racial discrimination within the Met were also being investigated. It is claimed there are officers in the DPS who are said to have interfered with or curtailed investigations, according to Green. “The investigation includes alleged interference in, and curtailment of, investigations by potentially conflicted senior officers, failure to investigate allegations of wrongdoing, systemic removal of the restrictions of officers under investigation and racial discrimination,” he added. “As part of this investigation, three officers have been served with gross misconduct notices and one of those officers is also under criminal investigation.” Green further stated “Assessments on the status of a number of other officers remains ongoing.” According to The Times, three whistleblowers from the Met approached the IOPC to allege members of the DPS were shielding officers from a range of allegations. “The Metropolitan Police Service (MPS) has referred allegations regarding the conduct of a number of MPS personnel to the IOPC which is conducting an independent investigation.”

Following simple investigation I also understand that one of the most senior police chiefs in the country is also under investigation for malpractice for improperly interfering in an investigation into bullying.

Worldwide problem

Keith's Story - Male Victim of Domestic Abuse & Depression Small holes sink big ships

Now, without scare mongering I am positive when I state that this investigation should not stop at the London Boarders. This appears to be a world wide problem. I have received comments from people all over the world expressing their concerns about the corruption on their own doorstep. Yet, time and again very little seems to be done to address these concerns.


Keith's Story - Male Victim of Domestic Abuse & Depression Small holes sink big ships

The police and the CPS now appear to be retreating into a bunker of secrecy and paranoia where all news must be ‘managed’ and freedom of information is considered a threat. On nearly all police websites I have found outrageous quotes such as; ‘declaring total war on crime’ and to be committed to carrying out its duties with ‘humility’ and ‘transparency’. Yet could anything be further from the truth? With its constant leak inquiries, harassment of whistleblowers and journalists, and scandalous misuse of terror legislation the police are probably more authoritarian and opaque than at any time in modern history.
Kevin McGinty, chief Inspector of the Crown Prosecution Inspectorate, found that 97% of defence lawyers had encountered disclosure errors in the last 12 months. ‘It doesn’t surprise me,’ he replied. In the past 12 months the Commission has continued to see a steady stream of miscarriages. When asked if he detected a sense of urgency on the part of the CPS and senior police officers in the wake of their report, he replied: ‘I hope so, but history shows they haven’t in the past.’ He pointed out that since their last report in 2008 ‘we have had Attorney General’s guidelines, two reviews by Lord Justice Gross and Court of Appeal cases that have gone horribly wrong where prosecution and police have been severely criticised. And yet we still have this problem.’


Keith's Story - Male Victim of Domestic Abuse & Depression Small holes sink big ships

In my opinion there seems to be a fundamental lack of understanding about the importance of equal and fair justice. Both the prosecutors and police officers should have due regard for information which points away from the defendant as well as information that points towards them. Yet it appears that in every case I have come across both parties seem to opt for the easy option. They fail to note the true facts and consider only one parties views. Is this due to financial restraint or just incompetence?

I am afraid that the ship used by the criminal law authorities has, in my opinion, sunk. It is riddled with corruption, inconsistencies, lack of ability and dishonesty. The police are not fit to investigate fairly and the CPS cannot share information correctly. Yet, time and again the sinking ship is raised from the bottom, given a new paint job that fails to hide the cracks (time and again like my great grandfather in his living room). I am afraid to announce that I have met people, including myself, that spots a police car in my rear view mirror and feel a shiver down my spine knowing that the incompetence behind the wheel is unchallenged and alas it now appears, dishonest.


Keith's Story - Male Victim of Domestic Abuse & Depression Obessions

History is littered with the ‘great and the good’ but the real people who make a difference are not those who have been born into privilege. It, in my view, those of whom have come from nothing to have made the world sit up and listen who are the greatest of which people should note.

You may argue that a great many developments and improvements have been either due to sheer luck or by a sense of obsession.


Keith's Story - Male Victim of Domestic Abuse & Depression Obessions

If we consider ‘luck’ for a moment a good example is that of Alexander Fleming. Alexander Fleming was a doctor and bacteriologist who discovered penicillin, eventually receiving the Nobel Prize in 1945.

Not washing the dishes

In September 1928, Fleming returned to his laboratory after a month away (having not washed up the dishes before he went) and noticed that a culture of Staphylococcus aureus he had left out had become contaminated with a mould (later identified as Penicillium notatum). He also discovered that the colonies of staphylococci surrounding this mould had been destroyed.

He later said of the incident, “When I woke up just after dawn on September 28, 1928, I certainly didn’t plan to revolutionize all medicine by discovering the world’s first antibiotic, or bacteria killer. But I suppose that was exactly what I did.” He at first called the substance “mould juice,” and then named it “penicillin,” after the mould that produced it.

Keith's Story - Male Victim of Domestic Abuse & Depression Obessions

It is quite clear that one of the greatest finds that revolutionised medicine and, without doubt, saved so many lives was conceived by accident and included a large element of luck.

Any other form of luck?

But what about other historical developments that were not constructed or created from luck? It would be fair to consider that an element of obsession is crucial especially in the face of hostility or by a system that tries to enforce the individual to remain quiet.

Why on earth are you so obsessed?

I remember a conversation I had with a senior police officer following my acquittal. He asked me why I was so obsessed with trying to ‘rake up the past’? I thought this was quiet a strange thing to say especially from someone whose job it was to investigate past events.

Keith's Story - Male Victim of Domestic Abuse & Depression Obessions

It was from this point that I realised an interesting concept. From my perspective those that have been wrongfully accused of an offence are labelled ‘obsessive’ when attempting to prove their innocents. The word ‘obsessive’ therefore has multiple standpoints.

Two views

Firstly, the standard view of obsessive (or obsession) is one based on devotion or dogged determination. Yet, an alternative view is one whereby people consider that an obsession is about proving someone wrong or to expose an untruth. It is, therefore, understandable that so many people try and belittle someone’s obsessions by questioning its worth. In my case it has been the police questioning my obsession because I would eventually be able to expose the holes and limitations of their actions and abilities.

Yet without obsession many truths would have remained hidden or developments in the world of science, medicine, the arts, education and so on would have remained un-found. What would have been even more unthinkable would have been so many miscarriages of justice would have remained so also.

If we consider events such as Hillsborough, Stephen Lawrence etc the true facts would still be hidden today.


Keith's Story - Male Victim of Domestic Abuse & Depression Obessions

The Hillsborough disaster was a human crush at Hillsborough football stadium in Sheffield, England on 15 April 1989, during the 1988–89 FA Cup semi-final game between Liverpool and Nottingham Forest. The resulting 96 fatalities and 766 injuries make this the worst disaster in British sporting history. The crush occurred in the two standing-only central pens in the Leppings Lane stand, allocated to Liverpool supporters. Shortly before kick-off, in an attempt to ease overcrowding outside the entrance turnstiles, the police match commander, chief superintendent David Duckenfield, ordered exit gate C to be opened, leading to an influx of even more supporters to the already overcrowded central pens.

Feeding a false report

Keith's Story - Male Victim of Domestic Abuse & Depression Obessions

In the days and weeks following the disaster, police fed false stories to the press suggesting that hooliganism and drinking by Liverpool supporters were the root causes of the disaster. The blaming of Liverpool fans persisted even after the Taylor Report of 1990, which found that the main cause of the disaster was a failure of control by South Yorkshire Police (SYP). Following the Taylor report, the Director of Public Prosecutions (DPP) ruled there was no evidence to justify prosecution of any individuals or institutions. The disaster also led to a number of safety improvements in the largest English football grounds, notably the elimination of fenced standing terraces in favour of all-seater stadiums in the top two tiers of English football.

The first coroner’s inquests into the Hillsborough disaster, completed in 1991, ruled all deaths that occurred that day to be accidental. It eventually came down to the families who strongly rejected the original coroner’s findings, and their fight (or obsession) to have the matter re-opened persisted, despite Lord Justice Stuart-Smith concluding in 1997 there was no justification for a new inquiry.

Shifting the blame

In 2009, a Hillsborough Independent Panel was formed to review all evidence. Reporting in 2012, it confirmed Taylor’s 1990 criticisms, while also revealing new details about the extent of police efforts to shift blame onto fans, the role of other emergency services, and the error of the first coroner’s inquests. The panel’s report resulted in the previous findings of accidental death being quashed, and the creating of new coroner’s inquests. It also produced two criminal investigations led by police in 2012: Operation Resolve to look into the causes of the disaster, and by the Independent Police Complaints Commission (IPCC) to examine actions by police in the aftermath.

The second coroner’s inquests which was held from 1 April 2014 to 26 April 2016 ruled that the supporters were unlawfully killed due to grossly negligent failures by police and ambulance services to fulfil their duty of care to the supporters. The inquests also found that the design of the stadium contributed to the crush, and that supporters were not to blame for the dangerous conditions. Public anger over the actions of his force during the second inquests led the SYP chief constable David Crompton to be suspended following the verdict. In June 2017, six people were charged with various offences including manslaughter by gross negligence, misconduct in public office and perverting the course of justice for their actions during and after the disaster.

Uncomfortable reading

Keith's Story - Male Victim of Domestic Abuse & Depression Obessions

The views and actions of the police make for uncomfortable reading when researching the events following the Hillsbourgh disaster. I am sure that the police would have preferred the whole matter to be brushed aside and never to be heard of again. What is disturbing is that much of the blame and finger pointing was to those of whom could not defend themselves – because they were dead. In effect, the insult was a double whammy of lies over avoidable deaths.

Stephen Lawrence

Keith's Story - Male Victim of Domestic Abuse & Depression Obessions

Stephen Lawrence (13 September 1974 – 22 April 1993) was a black British teenager from south east London, who was murdered in a racially motivated attack while waiting for a bus on the evening of 22 April 1993.

After the initial investigation, five suspects were arrested but not charged. It was suggested during the investigation that Lawrence was killed because he was black, and that the handling of the case by the police and Crown Prosecution Service was affected by issues of race. A 1998 public inquiry, headed by Sir William Macpherson, examined the original Metropolitan Police Service (MPS) investigation and concluded that the force was institutionally racist. It also recommended that the double jeopardy rule should be abrogated in murder cases to allow a retrial upon new and compelling evidence: this was effected in 2005 upon enactment of the Criminal Justice Act 2003.

Obsessive reporters?

Keith's Story - Male Victim of Domestic Abuse & Depression Obessions

However, a BBC investigation alleged that the murder inquiry’s Det. Sgt. John Davidson had taken money from known drug smuggler Clifford Norris, the father of David Norris, a chief suspect in the investigation. Neil Putnam, a former corrupt police detective turned whistleblower, told a BBC investigation that Clifford Norris was paying Davidson to obstruct the case and to protect the suspects. “Davidson told me that he was looking after Norris and that to me meant that he was protecting him, protecting his family against arrest and any conviction,” Putnam said.

The Metropolitan Police Service announced that it was to open up a special incident room to field calls from the public, following the BBC documentary The Boys Who Killed Stephen Lawrence. The Independent Police Complaints Commission later stated that the claims made in the programme were unfounded.

Corruption exposed

Keith's Story - Male Victim of Domestic Abuse & Depression Obessions

On 17 December 2009, Independent Police Complaints Commission investigators and officers from the Metropolitan Police’s directorate of professional standards arrested a former police constable and a serving member of Metropolitan Police staff on suspicion of attempting to pervert the course of justice by allegedly withholding evidence from the original murder inquiry, the Kent investigation and the Macpherson inquiry. Dr Richard Stone, who sat on the Macpherson inquiry, commented that the panel had felt that there was “a large amount of information that the police were either not processing or were suppressing” and “a strong smell of corruption”. Baroness Ros Howells, patron of the Stephen Lawrence Charitable Trust, agreed: “Lots of people said they gave the police evidence which was never produced.”

The publication in 1999 of the resulting Macpherson Report has been called “one of the most important moments in the modern history of criminal justice in Britain”. Jack Straw, Home Secretary from 1997 to 2001, commented in 2012 that ordering the inquiry was “the single most important decision I made as Home Secretary”. In 2010 the case was said to be “one of the highest-profile unsolved racially motivated murders”.

On 18 May 2011, after a further review, it was announced that two of the original suspects, Gary Dobson and David Norris, were to stand trial for the murder in the light of new evidence. At the same time it was disclosed that Dobson’s original acquittal had been quashed by the Court of Appeal, allowing a retrial to take place. Such an appeal had only become possible following the 2005 change in the law, although Dobson was not the first person to be retried for murder as a result. On 3 January 2012, Dobson and Norris were found guilty of Lawrence’s murder; the pair were juveniles at the time of the crime and were sentenced to detention at Her Majesty’s pleasure, equivalent to a life sentence for an adult, with minimum terms of 15 years 2 months and 14 years 3 months respectively for what the judge described as a “terrible and evil crime”.

Obsessively pursuing the truth.

Keith's Story - Male Victim of Domestic Abuse & Depression Obessions

To keep it simple, how dare people criticise those of whom have been wronged as being obsessive. If a wrong has taken place it is the moral duty to find out the truth. It is equally wrong, therefore, for any authority to actively stop or hinder such obsessions. Indeed, some obsessive behaviour when pursuing the truth may be dismissed but to actively encourage people to accept an injustice is utterly wrong.

Like I have previously mentioned in my blog about ‘entrepreneurs’, we need these individuals to pursue a truth and to expose the corruption that has been allowed to exist unfettered and unchallenged.

Like Alexander Fleming, the pursuit of something to benefit a society should be celebrated and remembered. But equally, there are so many others out there with an equally important story to tell.

The need for a political Entrepreneur

Keith's Story - Male Victim of Domestic Abuse & Depression The need for a political Entrepreneur

It is often said that we now live in a disposable society and that capitalism has taken away the concept of equal ownership or rights. I am not a Marxist, but I do have some socialist sympathies. Equally, I also have an appreciation of right wing political thoughts. However, there is no denying that the rise and success of capitalism has been down to specific, talented individuals who have highlighted needs for either change or improvements. Why can’t this train of thought be used beyond industry and commerce and be used to benefit the rights of everyone?

Just because it is old doesn’t mean it is right

Keith's Story - Male Victim of Domestic Abuse & Depression The need for a political Entrepreneur

There is a need for these thinkers within social constructs. The art of the entrepreneur within the realms of the law, equality, police powers and so on are needed more now than ever before. Just because our system of rule is centuries old doesn’t mean it is still right or relevant today. I once had a ten-year-old car – it was not seen as a classic but required scrapping.  Therefore, many (but not all) of the systems in operation today that exclude equal rights in the courts or the assumption by the police about who is right or wrong before evidence is seen (and conveniently selected), needs to be put away and replaced with something new and better.

Change is not inevitable

For changes to happen it must be based wholly on a sense that the present order is unreliable and an understanding of the possibility of an alternative outcome is obtainable. The absence of certain practices by a state makes social entrepreneurs recognise that the present system is neither right or that change is not inevitable. The ongoing status quo is evidence of the conformity and lack of imagination of the masses who just seem to plod along full of ignorance with regards to their true rights.

A consequence

Yet, it is a majority that demand and seek that those who make and enforce the decisions within the courts are also aware of the legal, social and emotional consequences of their decisions. They also need to understand what the true nature of human beings is. The change requires an uncommon ability to recognise a new imagination of change and reform and an element of realism that what the present system is doing not just to individuals but to the state as a whole.

It’s easier to just give up

Keith's Story - Male Victim of Domestic Abuse & Depression The need for a political Entrepreneur

Given the rarity of this combination, it has now become the norm to see so many people are just giving up. The popular image of the perfect family home is fed through the modern notion of fulfilment, equality and happiness. Yet the reality sits in silence regarding the moral bankruptcy of the legal system enforcing inequality and narrow-mindedness set in precedence and social (ab)normalities. This is further coupled with the relative silence of broken homes, lost children and ultimately suicides. If the present formula is not working to ensure harmony then it needs to be changed for a better, and perhaps, a workable alternative. And any good entrepreneur is able to see this clearly.


Keith's Story - Male Victim of Domestic Abuse & Depression The need for a political Entrepreneur

Like modern industries the ideas and development of entrepreneurs is essential for the survival of industry and commerce. It is the entrepreneurs that challenge the attitude of everyday regularity. Their mindset, it could be argued, have an honourable yet stubborn side. The alternative (hence the present) mindset is one whereby we do things without asking or questioning and continue failing or lack improvements. But there has been no real change to the system in a long time. Thus, if industries adopted the business attitudes of the state they would have gone bust generations ago.

Perhaps with my own entrepreneurial attitude I would like to sell the idea of equality without conditions. Fairness in the courts perhaps, or the police investigating allegations correctly for a change. It’s not a lot to ask.

It’s all obvious

I am not asking for a chain of new churches to be built to accommodate agnostics to help settle their undecidedness. There is nothing to decide or think about because the answers are obvious. What I am suggesting with regards to equality is what everybody has been requesting for many years. In fact, both men, women, young and old are asking for this right now. Yet, at present men still have to go to court to see their children, false accusers are never investigated once the truth is out, women still have to smash the glass ceiling and so on.


Keith's Story - Male Victim of Domestic Abuse & Depression The need for a political Entrepreneur

Entrepreneurs are always trying to elevate an idea to a visionary practice. But to get to that stage they often have to battle or justify their ideas in the face of stone faced ignorance. In the UK certainly, the ignorance is ingrained in statute law and precedence. It is continued because it is conventional to be so. I would like to think that the ideas set out by the entrepreneurs are seeking a utopian ideal that are trying to transform the world for the better. Things can only get better if it is allowed to change or seek self-improvement.

Many years ago whilst studying Political Science I discovered a formula that sets out a simple principle. It is known that the masses will only rebel when hunger is a factor. This was proven during the French revolution of 1789. As a result, the British welfare state was formed to feed the population just enough to stop them rebelling. This was especially crucial after a generation of men came home from fighting in the trenches of the first world war. These men knew how to use weapons and had seen destruction at first hand. Yet, people today are more concerned about the size of their waists or how big their television set is rather than address the values and inequalities within the society we now live in.


If there is an accusation of claiming the obvious I must therefore consider that my ideas are not unique. A large number of people are very good at questioning the authorities or their access to basic human rights yet do not seek a change. We also have a concept and view on how the world could be altered for the better. No doubt, we also picture our lives free from abuse, neglect, inequality and mistreatment. Perhaps in our indulging moments we might wish for a better car or house, yet we forget about the freedom from exploitation, false allegations or free access to our children. Is this because in the back of our minds we know we have more of a chance of being a multi-millionaire than to be accepted as being a male victim of abuse from a female partner or it being okay for society to admit that depression is an acceptable illness?

Third world treatment for second class citizens in a first world nation

Keith's Story - Male Victim of Domestic Abuse & Depression Third world treatment for second class citizens in a first world nation

I could start and leave this blog by just saying it is all ‘disgraceful’. But that would be an utter injustice to what I have read in the news recently to leave it at just that.

Murder by any means

Keith's Story - Male Victim of Domestic Abuse & Depression Third world treatment for second class citizens in a first world nation

I have been following the case of Mark Von Dongen’s death. For those who are not in the know about this case some of the details can be found at; To keep it brief Mark had acid thrown over him by his ex-girlfriend Berlinah Wallace.

Fifteen months after the incident that left him in permanent pain, paralysis, the loss of a leg, eye and ear, Mark took his own life via assisted suicide.

Legal view

From the legal point of view, I can understand why Wallace was acquitted of his murder but found guilty of throwing the acid. As has been said following her acquittal for murder she had no forethought about it leading to his death by assisted suicide, but her ignorance is no defence to realise that there would not have been a consequence to her actions.

Utter arrogance

From what I understand about Wallace and following the transcripts of the trial she will now be in a position to clearly state that she was found not guilty of murder. Her arrogance is beyond reprehensible and beyond arrogance.

Was it because he was a man?

Keith's Story - Male Victim of Domestic Abuse & Depression Third world treatment for second class citizens in a first world nation

However, what has been conveniently overlooked was the fact that time and again Mark had reported her abusive behaviour to the police. Three weeks prior to the attack he had called 999 to report his concerns about her behaviour and his concerns for his own safety. In fact, as a point of note her previous husband, Ray Wallace was reported as saying he considered himself lucky just to have had and ashtray thrown at him. It goes without saying that so many people knew what was going on but each and everyone failed him. And yes, the police are also culpable in that statement too.

To quote Mark Brooks from Mankind Initiative UK; … “was it down to lack of competence and because he was a man?”

Lets make the rules up as we go along

But the Wallace case is just another example of the third world treatment being handed out to male victims. A judge’s decision in May 2018 to spare Oxford University student Lavinia Woodward from going straight to prison (Judge Ian Pringle QC imposed a 10-month jail sentence, suspended for 18 months) for stabbing her boyfriend with a bread knife in his leg was reprehensible and indefensible.

Woodward, a student at the university’s Christ Church college, was to be sentenced earlier this year after admitting unlawful wounding, but the judge controversially gave her four months to prove herself and stay out of trouble.

When has gender been a defence?

Keith's Story - Male Victim of Domestic Abuse & Depression Third world treatment for second class citizens in a first world nation

In fact, it has almost become the norm for female abusers to walk free and as a result risks putting male victims of domestic abuse off coming forward. Mark Brooks, again commented that Woodward’s sentence as “unfair” and said she would have been expected to go to prison had she been a man. Again and again this poor treatment of male victims will enforce that view, that male victims are not taken as seriously as female victims.

The whole outcomes of these cases are unfair. We would expect a man who committed this type of crime to go to prison and rightly so, so the question has to be asked why it wasn’t this the case here.


Sonja B. Starr conducted a study that found that men serve, on average, 63% longer prison sentences than women. However, the study does not purport to explain why this is the case (Starr, Sonja (August 2012). “Estimating Gender Disparities In Federal Criminal Cases”. Law and Economics Research Paper Series. 12 (18): 17). Warren Farrell also identifies twelve criminal defences that are only available to women (Farrell, Warren (2001). “Women who kill too much and the courts that free them: the twelve “female-only” defences”. The Myth of Male Power: Why Men Are The Disposable Sex. New York: Berkley Books. ISBN 9780425181447). Men’s rights advocates have argued that men being over-represented in both those who commit murder and the victims of murder is evidence that men are being harmed by outmoded cultural attitudes (Woolf, Quentin. “Our attitude to violence against men is out of date”. The Telegraph 2017) The National Coalition for Men states that killing a female rather than a male brings a longer sentence, even more than the increase observed by killing a white person rather than a black person (NCFM (18 April 2014). “Criminal Sentencing”. National Coalition for Men.).

In the USA, Warren Farrell cites evidence that men receive harsher prison sentences and are more likely sentenced to death in the United States. He critiques society’s belief in women as more innocent and credible, as well as battered woman and infanticide defences.

Pick and choose

Keith's Story - Male Victim of Domestic Abuse & Depression Third world treatment for second class citizens in a first world nation

If we look again at the two cases mentioned. If a female had called the police the outcomes would have been very different indeed. Furthermore, like in my case, the police not only failed to address any of my concerns but went completely overboard for a statement that was proven to be a lie from the outset. In fact, whilst I think about it I am still waiting for someone from a domestic abuse unit to contact me to offer support – and this all happened over twelve months ago. Is my abuse not worthy of the respect or consideration that the authorities seem to supply to my female equivalent? The facts seem to prove this. The reality is that the courts are not applying the same mindset as they would for victims of all genders.

Pointless exercise

And yet the Crown Prosecution Service announced plans in early 2018 to encourage male victims of sexual and domestic abuse to come forward. Like myself, so many other men I have contacted about this debacle have also confirmed it was probably the worst thing they could ever have done. Firstly, you are not believed or considered that you may have asked for it. Secondly the CPS will never take the case forward. Thirdly, the support they claim to offer is not there (like I have just said, I am still awaiting contact from the Domestic Abuse Support groups over a year after reporting my attacks). Finally, and this is the best, both the CPS and the police have perfected the ability to deflect any sort of blame or ownership of incompetence.

This whole mindset of the judiciary and the police flies in the face of established legislation when it comes to fairness of the law. The 1647 Agreement of the People Act stated that “laws will apply equally to everyone and that there must be no discrimination on the grounds of tenure, estate, charter, degree, birth or place”. The 1975/6 Sex Discrimination Act and Race Relations Act was set out to make it an illegal act to discriminate against anyone on the grounds of their gender, or ethnicity. I just think that the general public and the judiciary seem to be singing from different hymn sheets.

Out of date statistic

Keith's Story - Male Victim of Domestic Abuse & Depression Third world treatment for second class citizens in a first world nation

Regardless of how they try to defend their third-class treatment the facts will not deflect from the fact that a man has died because of the actions of his violent partner, of whom, I hasten to add was already known to the police. Furthermore, this is just one example. And yet, the same old rhetoric about women being more likely to be victims of domestic abuse will keep getting rolled out to defend the indefensible. But why has no one stopped and considered that fact that that statistic is nearly 30 years old, and in my view, therefore, outdated.

Domestic violence committed by women against men is a problem that goes ignored and under-reported, in part because men are reluctant to describe themselves as victims. It appears that the judicial systems too easily accept false allegations of domestic violence by women against their male partners.  Men’s rights advocates (mainly in the US) have been critics of legal, policy and practical protections for abused women, campaigning for domestic violence shelters for battered men and for the legal system to be educated about women’s violence against men. Yet I find time after time domestic abuse leaflets are only ever aimed at female victims and I cannot name or identify one male refuge within eighty miles of my home address.

A circus… but who is the clown?

Keith's Story - Male Victim of Domestic Abuse & Depression Third world treatment for second class citizens in a first world nation

It has been suggested to me time after time that feminism has overshot its objective and harmed men. Men’s rights groups generally reject the notion that feminism is interested in men’s problems. Would it not be fair to consider that the banner of feminism has hidden the discrimination now faced by men? I really hope not, as every person I have spoken to declares their intention of equality for all. Yet, I have failed to see equality in the family and criminal courts. Or for that matter within the distribution of health equality and so on. How on earth has an ideology of sexual equality created such a monster that is costing the lives of men?

Family law is an area of deep concern for me. Men’s rights groups have argued that the legal system and family courts discriminate against men, especially in regard to child custody after divorce. I find it difficult to believe that men have the same contact rights or equitable shared parenting rights as their ex-spouse. I like so many other fathers have gone into financial hardship to get what should be an automatic right.

I often rest on my bed at night and wonder about the plight of those fathers and who do not and have not the access to funds to pay the court to enforce what is a supposed right. The saying that fathers have equal rights is just rhetoric as the truth is in the lack of enforced access for any father wishing to raise his children equally to the mother. When I have heard men’s groups ask for “rights” and “equality” in their discourse, framing custody issues as a matter of basic civil rights it is dismissed unless it is a financial benefit to someone (be it the mother or the lawyers). I would therefore cite that parental alienation syndrome as a reason to grant custody to fathers.


Health issues faced by men and shorter life expectancies compared to women may be seen as evidence of discrimination and a third world treatment for second class citizens. There is a complete disparity in funding of men’s health issues as compared to women’s, noting that, for example, prostate cancer research receives less funding than breast-cancer research. Warren Farrell states that men are more likely to die from all 15 leading causes of death than women at all ages (Farrell, Warren (February 10, 2014). The Myth of Male Power: Why Men are The Disposable Sex (21st anniversary ed.). Chapter 7). Perhaps we now live in a society considers that men more disposable than women.


Keith's Story - Male Victim of Domestic Abuse & Depression Third world treatment for second class citizens in a first world nation

Homelessness is a gendered issue. In Britain, most homeless people are male (Poole, Glenn. “Homelessness is a gendered issue, and it mostly impacts men”. The Telegraph. Retrieved 5 March 2017). In the United States, 85% of homeless people are male (Farrell, Warren (2001). “Is male power really a myth? A first glance”. The Myth of Male Power: Why Men Are The Disposable Sex. New York: Berkley Books. ISBN 9780425181447).

It really is a disgrace

I started this post with the term “disgraceful”. And it is. Whatever stance or view you may take on this matter this is not just a male issue. It is our fathers, uncles, husbands, brothers, partners and sons who are ignored by the authorities in their hours of need. We have seen the death of one person due to the actions of a violent woman and the failure of the police to afford the same protection to that of a female. And we have also witnessed the lack of punishment for a man being stabbed by his female partner.

The poor standards of care given to men does indeed make them a second-class citizen when it comes to rights and protection. And this is not a third world country. This is my country. A country that is proud to declare that its laws are fair and equal. It’s just like Orwell once said, “everyone is equal, it’s just that some are more equal than others”.

Blood sports

Keith's Story - Male Victim of Domestic Abuse & Depression Blood sports

I don’t know much about TV around the world but in the UK we have a chat show whereby certain sections of society visit a TV studio and are mocked and ridiculed in front of a live audience about everyday things.  For any educated eye the viewer can tell that these people are clearly below the educational norm.

Lust for blood

Keith's Story - Male Victim of Domestic Abuse & Depression Blood sports

I have found it fascinating that society seems to do such awful things in the name of sport or entertainment. If we look at entertainment throughout the ages there has always been an us and them attitude. During the 18th century it was considered as entertainment to watch the mentally inflicted of whom were chained to walls and spend time ridiculing them. It was also considered a sport to watch defenceless animals get torn to pieces by dogs. Yet, and I have had this conversation before, blood sports such as fox hunting is acceptable as it is a higher social class of sport unlike bear-baiting of which was considered as a working-class pastime.

Possible equal outcomes

In my eyes a game of any sport should be levelled on an equal footing. I don’t follow football (or soccer for my American readers) but we attend sporting events as there is a 50/50 outcome. It excites us as we can either feel elated at a positive outcome – and perhaps take great comfort in our competitor’s failures. Or we could loose with the idea and thoughts that we could do better next time. I suppose this is the closest thing we could consider as modern-day tribalism. Our teams’ success is our success and the teams failure is our failure too.

Opium for the masses

Keith's Story - Male Victim of Domestic Abuse & Depression Blood sports

Sport is an opium for the masses. What good or purpose is kicking a ball around a pitch to get it into a net. Or for that matter why would anyone actually choose to watch curling, when it looks like glorified mopping on a sheet of ice. George Orwell once stated that “serious sport is war minus the shooting”. But the need for a gory end has ensured that boxing has remained and rugby triumphs as a sport for ‘men’. Oliver Cromwell when referring to a cheering crowd in 1654 said “the people would be just as noisy if they were going to see me hanged.”

Time after time I have heard people condemn and criticise such entertainments, but these TV shows draw in large numbers of viewers. For example, the Jeremy Kyle show aired its 1000th episode on the 1st March 2010 with daily viewing figures of 1.5 million. On 24 September 2007, a Manchester District Judge, Alan Berg, was sentencing a man who headbutted his love rival while appearing on the show. Judge Berg was reported as saying: “I have had the misfortune, very recently, of watching The Jeremy Kyle Show. It seems to me that the purpose of this show is to affect a morbid and depressing display of dysfunctional people whose lives are in turmoil”, and that it was “a plain disgrace which goes under the guise of entertainment”. He described it as “human bear-baiting” and added that “it should not surprise anyone that these people, some of whom have limited intellects, become aggressive with each other. This type of incident is exactly what the producers want. These self-righteous individuals should be in the dock with you. They pretend there is some kind of virtue in putting out a show like this.”

Keith's Story - Male Victim of Domestic Abuse & Depression Blood sports

Hero worship

But, like the talk show entertainment I mentioned earlier, and the brutality associated with contact sports, it is carefully orchestrated, condoned and encouraged by society unknowingly. Our fascination for violence dressed as entertainment goes back centuries. Roman gladiators would be hero worshipped like over paid footballers today and it was estimated that arenas dedicated to death drew in an estimated 80,000 people every day to each arena.

Going to court is the same as being thrown to the lions

Keith's Story - Male Victim of Domestic Abuse & Depression Blood sports

Like the witnesses at a gladiatorial death or screaming fans at a football stadium it is perceived as okay to scream all manner of obscenities that we would not normally allow outside of the arena. Yet, the irony is that it is allowed to happen in one of the highest offices within the country. The arena of the courtroom has allowed the destruction of careers, families and lives. Unlike the football match where there is a 50/50 chance of a successful outcome the British legal system is like the gladiatorial games where an unarmed victim is thrown to the lions. This lust for blood has fed into the psych of the Jeremy Kyle audience and the courtrooms where those who shout the loudest get the greatest plaudits.

The one who has made the most outlandish statements do not need to defend themselves. It is the weak (because of the gender stereotypes that associate certain behaviours with certain sexes) who are left defenceless in the constant onslaught of attacks in the courtroom by using the constant unproven trump card associated with abuse, masculinity, fatherhood etc.

Profits over people

But this blood sport is allowed to continue is profitable. Like the Alehouses where dog fighting was permitted, the landlord would operate a system whereby he would profit. The legal system establishes a system whereby the defence is attacked and supported with unfounded allegations. Furthermore, the attacks are supported and encouraged by social workers and the police. Ultimately, the defendant has to endure the torment and attacks before rolling over and passing away with the state supported carnage.

Win/win everytime

Keith's Story - Male Victim of Domestic Abuse & Depression Blood sports

As previously stated, George Orwell said “serious sport is war minus the shooting”. The arena of the courtroom is a war minus the bullets. Either way, there is a looser. But the irony sits with the fact that it is a constant win/win situation for the mother in the family court and the false accuser in a criminal court. In my situation my final defensive blow came from the magistrate who stated that there was absolutely no evidence to support her false claim. Yet the police were hellbent on a blood spill. Unreasonably it was my blood they were after.

Because I said so…

Unfortunately, I have seen this blood sport played out again and again in the family courts. A good father who has played a positive role model and offered unconditional warmth and love to his child is dismissed, thrown out and blocked from access to his children on the vicious, evil and malicious allegations of the mother who only needs to make one statement; “he is not a nice man” for the games to begin.

Lets (never) see that again from another angle

Unlike the end of the football match whereby the fans can go home and watch the re-runs. The legal arena makes the victims go home and never to wish to have a re-run of those experiences. Yet, there is always the same winners of whom know how to play the games although unfairly. Like the Gladiator who may have had to fight with unsuitable equipment or with a disadvantage of having an arm tied the disability of being a male ensures that men will never be on the winning side. The legal system is not an equal playing field, but the rewards offered to the winner is always at the cost of the human dignity of the falsely accused or the previously fit father who does not fit into the role expected or required of the embittered mother.


Keith's Story - Male Victim of Domestic Abuse & Depression Blood sports

If sport encourages the hatred of another, the present court system allows the destruction of a defendant based on unproven allegations in both criminal and family courts. We are outraged if we discover a sportsman has taken an unfair advantage to falsely win. But unfair advantages are made in the courts.If the rules of the games are to change then the language used also needs looking at. Just because a woman states she is a victim does not always equate to that being the case. And just because it is a male in the dock does not associate with him being an abuser or the violent partner in a failed relationship.


Ignorantia juris non excusat

Keith's Story - Male Victim of Domestic Abuse & Depression Ignorantia juris non excusat

Back in 2012 I was driving through a village in Yorkshire. It was nothing remarkable, I was listening to my music and following the directions on my satellite navigation equipment as I headed home. It was during this journey, unbeknown to myself, that I had triggered a speeding camera.

By my own admission I was doing 40mph in a 30 zone. In the letter from the police it stated that although the speed for the specific area had previously been 40mph new and recent directives  stipulated that the area was now a designated 30mph zone.

Pay up and shut up

Keith's Story - Male Victim of Domestic Abuse & Depression Ignorantia juris non excusat

Okay, I did feel a little bit saddened that this had happened but I would have been screwed over either way. I accepted that at that moment I had committed a wrong and so paid the £90 fine and carried the three points on my licence. Lesson learned and moved on.

However, if in my defence I had stated that “I did not know the speed limit within that zone” I would have been prosecuted for driving without due care and attention. On the other hand, if I had claimed that “I did not know about the recent law change” the principle of ‘Ignorantia juris non excusat’ would have been applied.

So what is Ignorantia juris non excusat?

Keith's Story - Male Victim of Domestic Abuse & Depression Ignorantia juris non excusat

It’s always an area of law I have had a problem with. Ignorantia juris non excusat translates as; “ignorance of the law excuses not” or, another alternative states that “ignorance of law excuses no one”. To be specific it is a legal principle holding that a person who is unaware of a law may not escape liability for violating that law merely because one was unaware of its content.

The rationale of the doctrine is that if ignorance were a legitimate excuse, a person charged with criminal offenses or a subject of a civil lawsuit would merely claim that one was unaware of the law in question to avoid liability. Thus, the law assigns that knowledge of all laws to all persons within the jurisdiction of the home they reside or the place of which the crime took place are fully enforceable.


Even though I consider it would be impossible, even for someone with substantial legal knowledge, to be aware of every law in operation, this is the price paid to ensure that wilful blindness cannot become the basis of defence or the discharge of non-responsibility.

For this doctrine to work it assumes that the law in question has been properly published and distributed. The ancient Greeks would have used the term; Leges instituuntur cum promulgantur (Laws are instituted when they are promulgated).By modern standards publication can be in the printed form or over the internet being accessed by modern smart phones.  As a result a law can bind only when it is reasonably possible for those to whom it applies to acquire knowledge of it in order to observe it. Even if actual knowledge of the law is absent for a particular individual. A secret law is no law at all.

Although I have now established that ignorance may not clear a defendant of guilt, it can be a consideration in sentencing. This is particularly pressing where the law is unclear or the defendant sought advice from law enforcement or from further legal authority. I would argue that a police officer represents a legal authority. Wouldn’t you?

So, does an apology exonerate you from the law?

Keith's Story - Male Victim of Domestic Abuse & Depression Ignorantia juris non excusat

Well if you are a police officer, it does indeed seem to be the case.

Today (30th January 2018) The Metropolitan Police and the Crown Prosecution Service apologised to Liam Allan after the rape case against him collapsed following the discovery of crucial text message evidence that had not been disclosed to his legal team.

The 22-year-old was cleared after lawyers were handed a mobile phone download containing previously undisclosed text messages which cast doubt on the claim the sex was non-consensual.

Although the CPS had submitted a short text conversation between Mr Allan and the complainant as evidence, they had not provided the whole download from the alleged victim’s phone until days before the trial collapsed.

As a result of the evidence eventually coming to light the judge threw out the charges against Mr Allan after his lawyer discovered messages showing the claimant wanted and enjoyed the sex which she later claimed was non-consensual.

A statement for all seasons

In a statement from the police and CPS they had the boldness to state;

There is no evidence that the phone download was withheld deliberately by the OIC (officer in the case) or CPS (Crown Prosecution Service) prosecutors.

Deliberately or not, a failure to disclose all relevant evidence was reckless in the least and catastrophically dangerous at the worst as an innocent man would have been wrongly convicted.

But in their defence, they further stated;

“The disclosure problems in this case were caused by a combination of error, lack of challenge, and lack of knowledge.”

Now let us look at this again.

 ‘A combination of…’

Keith's Story - Male Victim of Domestic Abuse & Depression Ignorantia juris non excusat

They clearly state that is was a ‘combination of…’. To my educated ear this implies that there are more than one error to consider. As if one wasn’t bad enough.

‘Lack of challenge’

The statement further states ‘lack of challenge’. It is not for the police or the CPS to establish guilt. By not challenging the validity of the evidence or facts as given then they opted to assume guilt. This of course flies in the principle of innocent until proven otherwise.

It is now evident that believing the victim now trumps ‘objective and thorough’ investigations. In effect it appears that there is no requirement for an investigation if they feel that the victim is being honest. Any intelligent person will know the dangers of presumption especially when questioning someones right to liberty.


Keith's Story - Male Victim of Domestic Abuse & Depression Ignorantia juris non excusat

Time and again I have highlighted and identified when the police and the CPS have cherry picked the evidence put before them. This has further been proven in Liam Allans case.

Liam Allan said in a range of interviews today following the apology that;

…[he had concerns that certain messages in his case] “were plucked specifically to go against me”…”It must mean at some point there was reading somewhere.”

‘A lack of knowledge’

Keith's Story - Male Victim of Domestic Abuse & Depression Ignorantia juris non excusat

So how is having a ‘lack of knowledge’ any different from claiming ignorance? Well in my eyes there is no difference. Being ignorant is having a lack of knowledge (and visa versa).

In fact the dictionary definition of ‘ignorance’ not only defines the understanding but it also offers a clear example. It states;

Ignorance is a lack of knowledge. The word ignorant is an adjective describing a person in the state of being unaware, and can be used to describe individuals who deliberately ignore or disregard important information or facts or individuals who are not aware of that important information or facts.

So how does this fit with “ignorance is no defence?”

Well based on my speeding fine I had three options.

  1. Accept it. Pay the £90 fine and move on.
  2. Claim ignorance of the law and have a conviction for driving without due car and attention.
  3. Not knowing of the recent speed change who have considered I was aiming to use ignorance as a defence.

By the police and CPS claiming to have ‘no knowledge’ indeed argues on the side of ignorance and as we now know under the principles of law that ignorance of law excuses no one. Or to put it another way – Ignorantia juris non excusat

The law applies but not to them…

Keith's Story - Male Victim of Domestic Abuse & Depression Ignorantia juris non excusat

I would like to think that I have proven that the legal system operates the principle of Ignorantia juris non excusat. However, I do not hear the police or the CPS rushing to prosecute one of their own. Far from it. Commander Richard Smith said he and Claire Lindley, chief crown prosecutor for London South, stated that it was a ‘mistake’. I failed to read or hear of any pending prosecution of an ignorant police officer.

Okay, based on their principle. My excessive speed one day in 2012 was a mistake and I am sorry. So, can I have my £90 back please?

We know the answer to this one, don’t we? Me and my kind are not above the law unlike ignorant police officers or CPS prosecutors. My ignorance of the law can now be defended by saying ‘sorry’.






An inconvenient truth.

Keith's Story - Male Victim of Domestic Abuse & Depression An inconvenient truth.

I love the phrase ‘an inconvenient truth’. It has so many connotations and meanings. Some truths are hidden and some are buried. But when a truth is an inconvenience it makes you wonder who for.

State or civilisations?

Keith's Story - Male Victim of Domestic Abuse & Depression An inconvenient truth.

I have learnt that we are part of a system. I suppose like a nest of ants. We just plod on with what we have to do without hesitation or doubt about our duties. We like to think and believe that we will be there for each other as and when the time requires. We support the state and follow it’s ideologies to a point of our own destruction.

Historically states have crushed or extinguished those of whom have tried to question the validity of the society they live in. Just because they may have lost the fight does not mean that they were wrong. Perhaps it’s not a very good example, but Herman Goering was quoted as saying during the Nuremberg Trials, that these kinds of trials are ‘vengeance of the victors.’ I think this does have some validity as the crimes of which they were tried for were equally as bad as Joseph Starlin. But he fought for the winning side. This still doesn’t make his crimes right.

Keith's Story - Male Victim of Domestic Abuse & Depression An inconvenient truth.

We can give other examples of women’s suffrage. I find it implausible to consider that a person does not have the right to vote because of their gender. Many women were arrested and criminalised for something that eventually became accepted and normal. The inconvenient truth lies with the fact that if it doesn’t fit with what a minority want (usually the elite) then it must be deemed illegal.

Gold, silver or bronze?

I have also noticed that following the criticisms Tony Blair received for taking the UK into an illegal war it has all gone conveniently quiet. The evidence is there but still he evades prosecution.

It does appear to be different levels of laws for different sections of society. By the accident of birth we are committed to a gold, silver or bronze level of citizenship. I gave an example of this when I talked about the history of the Welfare State in my blog entitled Legal (f)aid. Within that page I said;

“The English aristocracy had always been scared and wary of the rising and revolutionary poor following the French Revolution. Trained and armed men returned from the trenches after World War 1, and found the golden promises made to them to sacrifice their lives had not born fruit. So, the welfare state was created to keep the poor in check (and ultimately in their place). From the 18th  and 19th century, the authorities had been aware that the people would rise if hunger was evident and felt across the population. As a result, the state gave ‘just enough’ to feed the poor and stave off hunger to secure their place at the top of the social scale and the poor to remain in blissful ignorance of the trick that had been played.”


Keith's Story - Male Victim of Domestic Abuse & Depression An inconvenient truth.

It’s a little bit like when the pigs took over the farm in George Orwell’s Animal Farm. The inconvenient truth was that;

“All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others”,

The rhetoric that we are equal within the eyes of the law conveniently sits with the fact that;

“All people are equal in the eyes of the law, but some people are more equal than others”,

Getting shot

I don’t wish to talk about inequality of the law as I have covered this previously in the above-mentioned blog. However, by testing how far the truth goes it only takes a quick look over the parapet to get shot at. As a result of this people are blissfully happy keeping their heads down.

I recently raised my head above the parapet and challenged the CPS on a key point of their policy when it stated the following;

“……the Crown Prosecution Service is independent from the police and does not participate in the investigation of offences.”

I question this level of independence as they do not challenge the police with regards to the validity or credibility of evidence (on both sides). This behaviour is not independent but sits on the side of the police. In effect, the actions of the CPS are saying the’ police say therefore we do’. There is an assumption that the police are right as it is there job to investigate. But if the police are not doing their job correctly then how can the CPS. In effect the whole house of cards collapses because of one ‘bent’ (I suppose) policeman. Or is it endemic? Is the whole thing corrupted to a point of decay and rot? To date, the CPS have failed to argue an alternative view to this, especially in the face of growing public criticism.

Who does what and for whom?

Furthermore, another inconvenient truth found within the CPS documents states;

“The police are responsible for responding to allegations that a person has committed a crime. They will decide whether an investigation is required and how it should be conducted.”

Time and again I have made an allegation of being a victim of domestic abuse. I have supplied evidence that is sound, solid and testable. Yet the CPS and the police continually fail to address or consider my claims. They have actively and physically chosen to ignore that fact. It has also transpired today, via a letter from the CPS, that the police purposely chose to withhold my evidence without reason or justification.

How on earth can this be defensible?

Keith's Story - Male Victim of Domestic Abuse & Depression An inconvenient truth.

As an accident of birth, we agree to a form of ‘social contract’ whereby we agree to operate within the rule of the law. If we break this contract, then we suffer a consequence. I will state here and now that a sign of a civilised society requires a number of ingredients, but the protection of individuals is dependant upon the fairness of the law and the law makers. It protects us from others and others from us. But does it protect us from a corrupted state? It appears not to stretch that far as certain authorities are above the law.

Throughout my life I have had a hatred of injustice or unfairness. In fact, when I think about it, we all do. We ‘boo’ at the baddies in plays and pantos and we like a happy ending over victimisation in stories and soap operas.  It makes me sick to the pit of my stomach to see people sleeping on the street through no fault of their own. Or for that matter people living off the success of others in the form of exploitation or privilege of birth (yes you can probably guess I am no fan of the royal family either). I am angry that many TV presenters are paid inexcusable saleries yet poor families are hounded because they can’t pay their TV licences to pay for these overpaid – under talented individuals.

Puppets on a string

Keith's Story - Male Victim of Domestic Abuse & Depression An inconvenient truth.

But the worst kind of injustice is the type that has successfully hidden behind lies and has played the state and people like puppets on a string.

I had an interesting conversation today with a reader of my blogs who lives in America (she knows who she is). She made a point that sat with me for the rest of the evening.

She stated that the problems are the same there (in America) as they are here (in the UK). So why on earth are people not asking for their true birth rights? Why are people not expressing their need to be protected under the rules of which they have agreed to associate with – after all, if we decide to live outside of the law then we can’t expect it’s protection but only its execution of a trial and incarceration. Why don’t we ask for injustices to  be corrected for the benefit of society as a whole?

Just think about it, it could be you.

Keith's Story - Male Victim of Domestic Abuse & Depression An inconvenient truth.

I’m certainly not requesting a revolution in the physical sense like Russia or France but an intellectual revolution whereby society can test the theories and see if they match with facts. You will find that they don’t and never have done.

Historically, people have been treated with contempt and disdain. When we consider the life of poor working people at the turn of the 20th century we will see that some had faced the misery and mistreatment in the workhouse. Only to be expected to die for their country and superiors who were nowhere to be seen on the battle fronts. And for those of whom survived there was nothing to come home to. No heroes welcome and no streets lined with gold. Just lies and expectations.

I consider myself a well educated middle aged man. I have paid my taxes and abided by the laws of my land. I don’t drink or smoke (I know these are not illegal) and I go about my daily business without hindrance to others or interference to those around me.  I regularly read the news and develop my own opinions on events as they unfold. I may express my views, but I don’t impose them upon others. As I feel everyone has the right to be heard. Yet as we know I have had to fight for the past eight months to get some form of explanation from an organisation that should be working for me and my protection.


To date I am still not satisfied with the explanations I have got because time and again the answers are contradictory or don’t stand up to simple tests of equality and fairness.

The inconvenient truth is that the laws of this land are inaccessible to most people but those of whom see fit to challenge it are faced with a closed-door policy. For me to explain this in an easier way I have found that the police blame the CPS and the CPS blame the police. It is just a continual cycle of blame and counter blame. It is almost childish that they insist on using their trump card to ‘twit’ on the other. The inconvenient truth is that if two children acted like this in the playground then they would expect to be sitting in the head masters office explaining their actions. It has only been allowed to continue because a minority are earning from it and being protected by it. We are being treated like idiots and expect to be happy that way.

Are we the same?

Keith's Story - Male Victim of Domestic Abuse & Depression An inconvenient truth.  I am proud of the fact that I treat people equally. I have brought my children up to equally respect other people of whom they come into contact with. As a result, I also wish to be treated equally and in general I am. I am treated equally in the shops and restaurants I attend. I walk the streets not being expected to walk on an unequal path. I pay equal taxes as my work colleagues and use the same services as everyone else when it comes to public libraries, rubbish collection or obtaining medical help.

Yet, the inconvenient truth is that we have all been lied to and we tell the same lies to our children. As long as a people are compelled to obey, the state  does well and profits from our ignorance of the failings that are around us. But social order and protection from a corrupt state and violent individuals is a sacred birth right which is the basis of every other right. However, this natural right is no longer natural and is founded and corrupted by manmade legislations. And as long as individual people have control of writing our laws it will be subject to failure and corruption.

Rights and responsibilities

Keith's Story - Male Victim of Domestic Abuse & Depression Rights and responsibilities

I don’t know whether it’s just me but sometimes I might hear something and it sits with me for a while until either something else replaces it within my thought bank or I investigate it further.

I was awake one night watching TV in bed when I observed a programme discussing the state of the present legal system in the UK. One particular guest stated; “if we have responsibilities, then we must have the right”. For me this was like a light bulb moment.

Keith's Story - Male Victim of Domestic Abuse & Depression Rights and responsibilities

These two words ‘rights’ and ‘responsibilities’ should have an obvious connection. They should be united in their meanings. But they have not been allowed to be. They have a divorce forced upon them with both parties unwilling to separate.


The word ‘rights’ has, and is, often misused and often taken for granted.

A dictionary definition of rights states;



plural noun: rights

that which is morally correct, just, or honourable.

“she doesn’t understand the difference between right and wrong”

synonyms: goodness, rightness, righteousness, virtue, virtuousness, integrity, rectitude, uprightness, principle, propriety, morality, truth, truthfulness, honesty, honour, honourableness, justice, justness, fairness, equity, equitableness, impartiality; More

lawfulness, legality

“the difference between right and wrong”

antonyms: wrong

a moral or legal entitlement to have or do something.

“she had every right to be angry”

synonyms: entitlement, prerogative, privilege, advantage, due, birthright, liberty, authority, authorization, power, licence, permission, dispensation, leave, consent, warrant, charter, franchise, sanction, exemption, immunity, indemnity;

There is significant disagreement about what is meant precisely by the term ‘rights’. It has been used by different groups and thinkers for different purposes, over different periods of time. Very often with different and sometimes opposing definitions. The precise definition of this principle, beyond having something to do with normative rules of some sort or another, is controversial.

Rights verses Rights

Keith's Story - Male Victim of Domestic Abuse & Depression Rights and responsibilities

Natural rights are rights which are deemed to be ‘natural’ in the sense of not being artificial or not man-made. In effect these are rights deriving from human nature or from the edicts of a god. For example, it has been argued that humans have a natural right to life. These are, in my view, moral rights or absolute rights that no state can dictate to or interfere with.

In contrast, legal rights, are based on a society’s customs, laws and statutes. An example of a legal right is the right to vote. Citizenship, itself, is often considered as the basis for having legal rights. Legal rights are sometimes called civil rights or statutory rights and are culturally and politically relative since they depend on a specific common framework to have meaning.

Throughout time thinkers have seen rights in only one sense while others accept that both senses have a measure of validity. There has been considerable debate about these senses throughout history. For example, Jeremy Bentham (15 February 1748 – 6 June 1832) believed that legal rights were at the heart of rights, and he denied the existence of natural rights. Thomas Aquinas (1225 – 1274), however, argued that rights claimed by positive law but not grounded in natural law were not properly rights at all, but only a facade or pretence of rights.

Keith's Story - Male Victim of Domestic Abuse & Depression Rights and responsibilities

It is my right…. but it is wrong

As I see it, therefore, the general populace is still shrouded in confusion when they discuss ‘their rights’. Time and again I have heard people state it is there right to wear whatever they want or to do whatever they wish. But this may be contrary to the rights of others who may see this as offensive or just downright wrong. For example, I disagree with blood sports of any kind – it is my right to have this view – but it would be wrong for me to force my opinions on others who disagree. It is the role of law for this to change if it is to be considered as an absolute wrong. And I would like to think that a majority of the human population would take and accept this stance.

My argument is also supported by the concept of the ‘Human Rights Act 1998’. Indeed, the very title claims to the right of humans but it is only reinforced by manmade laws contained in the European Convention on Human Rights. Which in turn is not a natural right at all but man-made decisions. What also bothers me about this title is the presumption by the majority of people is that they consider that they are free to do what ever they want under the protection of this said act. I wonder how many people who scream about ‘their human rights’ have actually read the document? I consider not many have.


Keith's Story - Male Victim of Domestic Abuse & Depression Rights and responsibilities

I like the word responsibility. It has a feeling of ‘duty’ or ‘liability’ about it. Put simply, it is my responsibility as a father to clothe, feed and educate my children. I also have a responsibility to drive my car without recklessness or dangerously. Of course, these responsibilities are enshrined in law (Tort) but that is protect those of whom come into contact with and not to protect myself.

In essence, and I hope you agree, having ‘responsibility’ is to hold a duty or obligation.

The dictionary definition holds that;

“…the state or fact of being responsible, answerable, or accountable for something within one’s power, control, or management.”

Romantic ideology

In an ideal world I would love each and every one of us to know with some certainty that our rights and responsibilities are equal and firmly married. But, alas, they are not.

For those of whom govern, having these two concepts together would fly in the face of state control. And so the myth has been able to perpetuate.  As a father I know about my responsibilities (as previously stated) but the law does not protect my right as a father to equal access to the children. I can give so many examples where this is so. Yet, I am expected to carry out my duty (responsibility) without the protection of the law. There is just an assumption and assumption is not a protection in law.


Keith's Story - Male Victim of Domestic Abuse & Depression Rights and responsibilities

But let me look at this a little further. The average man is allowed to live freely within his home. But his partner abuses him. He has the right to leave but cannot expect the protection he requires as of his assumed right. And why is this? Well it now transpires that the police and the CPS will not protect your right to equality in the law because your rights are compromised by their inefficiency, corruption and selectiveness of evidence to prove the truth. Yes, the abused man has a responsibility to not hit back or counter assault; but he does not have the right to equal protection from wrongful arrest or to be protected equally. There is no equality in law, there is no equality in refuge and there is no equality to the rights to our children. Yet we must always maintain our responsibilities.


I am happy to uphold my responsibilities. It offers a sense of duty and protection. This concept of responsibility also protects me in my daily existence. But alas, it doesn’t protect me from an abusive partner because I don’t hold the right to protection. It is just assumed it is there until I need it. And for so many it isn’t there. It just doesn’t exist.


Keith's Story - Male Victim of Domestic Abuse & Depression Rights and responsibilities

For those of whom have followed my blogs you will have probably noticed a bit of a shift in my focus.

As I write this I am satisfied that from the outset I knew this blog would become organic and grow. At the beginning I talked about what happened to me and this flowed into anger directed at my abusive ex.

From my perception I consider that I got over her a while ago, but my new focus is the corruption and failings of a system that not only failed me (and many others) but also protected the abuser. As I have stated numerous times before she had a history of abuse and was, time after time, able to get away with it. But, even with her history she is still protected by what she knows to be a failing in the system to protect victims. Thus, promote abuse within the home. The rhetoric of protecting victims does not stand up to simple scrutiny.

We have known from reading recent news articles that time and again both the police and CPS have failed to disclose evidence and facts. Therefore, how is the right to liberty and equality guaranteed in a so called civilised society, when this simple belief is chosen to be ignored?

In essence, rights and responsibilities translate as, it is our responsibility to do what is perceived as being decent and respectable, yet we cannot expect the right of protection regardless of how it is flowered up to desperate victim.